Finding that someone special takes both a rational and emotional decision, and it literately pushes the boundary of human capabilities! So do not worry if you have had rotten luck with the whole process... We all do. But sometimes, only when we are really lucky, we find the love of our life... but seriously--->
In honor of my friend Krystle, who recently got engaged, I thought I would share some of the my thoughts on how to find your Mr. or Mrs Right!
Set standards
Before you even look at another man, you need to set standards! You might be so perfect that every man on earth will just fall in love with you, once they get to know you of course, but I am sure you only want the best of the best! Standards is a like a filter that eliminate 99.9% of the population! Do not worry~ that 0.1% still means 700,000 people to choose from.
Some people say they do not have specific standards when looking for a boyfriend! But I think it is perhaps the most important thing you need to do!
The standards I am talking about are observable and measurable standards, such as height, age, education, history, family background etc.. It's not a matter of preference, you cannot be like, I would prefer him to be older, but I guess younger is okay...
It's okay if you have no standard for age, but remember, the more standards you set, the less time you waste on meeting the perfect guy.
EVALUATE YOURSELF! and think hard about what measurable qualities he MUST HAVE to make him right for you. Be completely RATIONAL when you set these standards and whenever you meet a guy, evaluate him base on the set of standards you have set. If, and ONLY if he meets ALL the requirements, should you consider getting to know him better. Otherwise it does not matter if he look hot as hell, your rational self would tell you that it's not sustainable in the long term.
These standards are also handy if you want friends to introduce a man to you <3
Below were some of my standards.
1) has to be taller than me when I am wearing 3 inch heels, and since I am 5'6", he will have to be at least 5'9" to 5'10"
2) Asian, and has to be fluent in Mandarin, and by fluent, I mean no accent, and reads, writes Chinese like a Chinese person
3) have never ever smoked, and is oppose to the idea of smoking
4) Must be older than me by no more than 5 years.
5) same level of education as I am
I remember once I was chatting online with a guy who was interested in me, and he asked me how tall I was. Apparently he is the same height as I am, and I never heard from him since.. I guess I did not meet his standards...
BE RATIONAL, learn to tell yourself NO! if he does not meet your standards. There ARE NO exceptions!
Evaluate! do not rush into anything!
Once he meets your must have list, it's time to evaluate the none measurable values. Things like his personality, his character and his values. Again, be RATIONAL, and avoid wasting time on Mr. Wrong.
This can sometimes be very difficult, as the start of any new relationship is always sweet and perfect. But, some of the things you can do to evaluate his true personality are:
1) check out his friends. people are always attracted to people who are alike to themselves, his friends maybe a good reflection of his true self.
2) observe how he behaves around strangers, there is not reason for him to act extra nice to them.
3) Talk to him, read between the lines and see the type of person he is.
I think one of the most important thing is sharing similar values.
What you can offer him?
A sustainable relationship has to be mutually beneficial. You might love him to death, but what can you offer him to make him love you forever? If the only reason he loves you is because you are beautiful, or are rich, then break it off already, because it's not something that can be sustained. We all eventually gets old and look wrinkly, and money comes and goes.
It may take some time to discover and understand what you can provide and the reason he likes you. be observant, is it because you have a great personality? Do you understand him better than anyone else? Or is it because only you know how to cheer him up when he is down.
If you find that the reason he is with you is not sustainable in the long term, or someone else can easily offer it as well, then you should probably think twice before seeing him again.
Needless to say, there are a bunch more things, but I hope you will find some of the advice useful : )
Let me know if you guys liked it, and I will be back with more dating tips some other time <3
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